Ye Have Heard That It Hath Been Said....Or, De-bunking Institute Myths

Although I make the occasional satirical reference to my Institute upbringing, I don't really feel all that scarred. I know there are some people out there who feel rather messed up by various incorrect teachings, but I've felt that I tend to be able to appreciate the good stuff and laugh off the parts I don't agree with.

It distresses me the least little bit, therefore, that there seem to be so few people who hold as ambivalent a viewpoint as I do. There are those who are still caught up in the New Approach To Life such that they whole-heartedly champion all the propaganda, and then there are those whose aversion to the teachings has caused such a backlash that they throw the baby out with the bathwater. It becomes difficult to find a rational way of separating the wheat from the chaff, because any such conversation between interested parties would inevitably deteriorate.

The world, of course, would only scoff and sneer. The disenchanted would wax sarcastic. The naive would go on insisting the merits of all that they had been taught. So who can tell me, plainly, scientifically, scripturally, and with no ulterior motives, the truth value of the following statements?

Having many children is good for the body and keeps a woman looking/acting/feeling younger.

I've heard this one so many times, both anecdotally - in reference to specific poster mothers of large families, who certainly looked vibrant, healthy, and happy - and prescriptively: childbearing was God's design for a woman's body, prolonged barrenness is unhealthy and unnatural, multiple pregnancies deliver necessary doses of estrogen and prolong youthfulness, etc. etc.

I don't want to accept the world's line that pregnancy is hard on the body, because right now we live in a culture of death, and Satan hates the idea of a godly generation. After all, right now, it is accepted practise in mainstream medicine to perform abortions, and we know that is not right. So I'm not just accepting mainstream medicine's take on this one.

On the other hand, I've gone through two pregnancies, and I certainly didn't feel youthful and energised by them. While I'm all right health-wise, I definitely feel aged and worn out by them, and I think that if you could split into a parallel universe and take my current self, as is, and place her side by side with my current self, had I never gotten married and had kids, and compare the two, you would find the other specimen to appear more youthful, energetic, and possibly more put-together and beautiful. (Definitely smoother skin and better belly muscles.) But that's just my top-of-the-head opinion at the end of a very long day. There's really no way to scientifically measure the long-term effect of child-bearing on any given person.

When pulled over by a cop, don't protest your innocence. Instead, cheerfully admit to wrongdoing and sincerely thank him for correcting you. This will properly affirm the authority structure ordained by God, and will likely diffuse the situation entirely.

However, in Real Life, I've read the solid-sounding advice that you are best served by not admitting to guilt, and contesting the ticket. Agreeing that you are in error, or cheerfully volunteering what traffic law you violated, will only seal your fate. On the other hand, we should certainly tell the truth, right? That means not lying if asked whether we were speeding, right?

When eating out in a restaurant, well-behaved children should attract the attention of observant fellow diners, who will approach you at the end of their meal and tell you that they were so impressed with your children that they felt compelled to pay your bill.

This one is largely anecdotal - they don't actually promise it will happen to you, but it seemed to have happened to so many prominent families who go on to share their testimonies about it at Knoxville that you might think it should happen to everyone. It doesn't. I myself have been well-behaved a number of times in restaurants, and nobody has ever paid my bill on that account. Nor have I ever personally met anyone to whom this has happened.

Sleep gotten before midnight is more healthy for your body. Early rising is a Christian virtue.

Now, how is your body supposed to know what time it is by the clock? And how does it somehow manage to adjust to daylight savings time? Really, I think that the most that can be said for this is to make sure you get plenty of sleep, and to try to make it as dark (i.e. restful, peaceful) as possible while you're at it.