Recently we were discussing whether or not Michael should buy a sword for the sword drill he will be part of in Eric's upcoming wedding. Now I am all for swords and spit and polish and all that, but we wondered whether it was worthwhile to buy one. On the one hand, he needs a sword beforehand to practise with and he will definitely need a sword in the wedding. On the other hand, perhaps he could just borrow a sword, as this situation isn't likely to come up again any time soon. Since Michael's not in anymore, we probably won't be attending any Marine Corps balls in full regalia, and technically he wouldn't need the sword anyway since only officers wear them.
'Well,' Michael suggested, 'I could just re-enlist, and work my way up to becoming an officer, and that would justify the cost of the sword.'
'But then you might be sent overseas, and killed before you make officer!' I pointed out.
'Then you would have the life insurance money, in which case you certainly wouldn't begrudge the money for the sword!'
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My blueberry bushes are dying. I didn't think they had survived last year, but two of them seemed to have pulled through this spring; however, the drought is taking its toll on them and the severe watering restrictions are limiting my ability to mitigate the situation. I deplored the course of events to Michael, who suggested that we improve the soil, as red Georgia clay isn't much good for growing anything.
That's a splendid idea, but in the three years I've lived here I still haven't gotten around to taking careful little soil samples and sending them off to the extension office for analysis and buying and applying the appropriate soil balancer, and I'm not likely to do so now. What I need is a quick fix. Quick and cheap. Requiring absolutely no effort on my part.
Late one night it came to me. 'Michael! I know! We can have another baby and then we can plant the placenta under the blueberry bushes!'
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5 comments:
Ewww....
You never cease to amaze me, MRF.
After the birth of one of my siblings we buried the placenta under this fern that was dying and it was the healthiest thing in the back yard for a long time...but my mom did have the baby at home so I think you would have a hard time getting the hospital to release that and therefore I would agree w/SM re: the "ew" factor.
It seems like a whole lot of work just to save a blueberry bush.
-- SJ
Seems like just as good a reason as any! ;D hA!
ROTFLOL! Rose, you completely made my day! That was hilarious!
100 things to do with afterbirth:
...
16) Plant it under a bush that isn't doing very well and watch the vegetation grow!"
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