Maternal musings

I wonder whether all parents are convinced that their children are geniuses. It seems so obvious to us that Jane is one spectacular baby, because she's already rolling over (so what if it was on a little bit of a slope?), holding her head up, smiling consciously, and frequently wrinkling her brow in obvious deep thought. She could practically be a model for Rodin's Thinker. But one thing she hasn't quite figured out yet is how to eat quietly, slowly, and calmly. The unfortunate result of her bad table manners is the frequent inadvertent ingestion of excess air. Often this situation can be addressed by a few minutes of brisk back-patting, but sometimes nothing avails. What a pity that there's no sure-fire way to coax unnecessary air out of the digestive system. Once, when I lived on a farm in Oregon, our cow got into some overripe apples. She expanded, rolled over onto her side, and lay bloated and mooing. We ran a garden hose down her throat and sat on her side, which cured her. I shared this anecdote with Michael, but it seemed to have no relevance to the present case.