Recently I’ve been considering an overhaul of our country’s adoption laws. I admit I’m not terribly familiar with the details of the laws. But I know of at least one state where, up to six months after the adoption transaction is completed, the birth mother can change her mind and demand the baby back.
Now, I know this is a terribly sensitive issue. We should all want what’s best for the child, and a rational viewpoint demands the assumption that individuals (read: the child’s parents) can make this decision far better than the State. If a child’s biological parents decide to keep their child, isn’t that their decision, regardless of whether we feel the child will be better off elsewhere?
I’m all for parents’ rights. And I certainly applaud those mothers who choose to keep their children. My concern is for the prospective adoptive parents who go through the agony and the ecstasy of believing that they were finally blessed with a child, only to have the baby torn from them, even after they have taken him home.
It seems that in an effort to protect the interests of the biological parents, the State (using the term generically, since I’m still not sure if it’s mostly federal or state legislation) has erred on the side of doing wrong to adoptive parents. Why do we feel compelled to install such a failsafe plan in our adoption process as to enable someone to change his mind after the fact and back out of a contractual agreement? Is it based on our society’s fascination with no-risk, money-back guarantees, the notion that if you change your mind, you can still get what you want, at whatever cost to the other party? It seems that those considering adoption should be warned, as are those contemplating marriage, that this is a serious decision, not to be made lightly but soberly and reverently; and that, once the die is cast, they are left with the consequences.
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1 comment:
I agree with you, Rose. I think that it's the child who suffers when he/she is pulled suddenly out of a loving home. I don't think birth parents should be permitted to change their minds once the child is transferred to the adoptive parents' home. Parental rights are important - but the issue is WHEN do parental rights transfer from the birth parent(s) to the adoptive parents. I think stability and security are important for children and when the decision is made to give a child up for adoption, and custody is transferred, the decision should become irrevocable. -Amy
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