Recently I was reading an article about the dangers of posting pictures of your children online, and how, regardless of whether strange people actually track them down and molest them, it's still a danger to their souls to have it out there. Certainly it's a valid concern, and I always find it sobering to be seriously confronting the dangers of the evil world out there. Generally I tend to be laid-back about risks, and until I met Michael I never locked my car, my front door, or shredded my personal papers. He has a very admirable sense of safety and caution, due I think in part to his perfectionistic personality and in part to his military training. As far as regards myself, I think I'd tend to dismiss most concerns as mere paranoia and conclude that it's better to take a few risks than live a life of fear and trembling. But when you start bringing my child into it!!!
This all came up right in the throes of the capture of the Wichita killer, about whom I'd never heard before but read with fascination how a generation of Wichita women grew up checking the phone line whenever they entered their home...just in case....Suddenly I began to wonder whether our home was safe enough, and for several days my mind has been processing worst-case scenarios of how to react if I discovered someone in our house. At what point do I decide to make a run for it or to call 911? How desperate must it be for me to elect to go through a window? How should I shield my face from the glass while providing maximum protection to Jane? (I even asked Michael what I should do if I found someone bending over the crib, threatening to kill Jane unless I dropped the gun. Michael's response: 'You shoot him. He's going to kill you both otherwise.')
It has been awhile since I shot off a gun, so Michael gave me a refresher course on loading and checking the safety lock. I have my concealed carry permit now, so this would be the ideal time to get a small firearm to carry with me, but I'm still thinking through the practical ramifications of what that actually means. For someone who's always losing her car keys in her very own purse, I'm not sure I want to accept the responsibility of carrying a loaded gun around with me, especially while manhandling a car seat and diaper bag.
So the article did give me pause to consider. I know it wouldn't be too hard for some determined creep (in the II Timothy 3:6 sense, leaving off the part about the silly women) to track us down, considering the clues I've carelessly dropped throughout the past year+. One thing I did do promptly was to edit my profile, cutting down on personal info and no longer allowing my blog to be accessible to the public. I had only just added this feature because I just noticed it, not being one to tinker much with the behind-the-scenes stuff; but I had added it after noticing that when someone posts a comment on someone else's blog and the name appeared to be a link, I could click on it and discover a whole new chain of events! In fact, it was under just such circumstances that I discovered this sobering article in the first place.
But I've decided to swear it off: much as I could enjoy expanding my horizons, the temptation would be to spend way too much time reading blogs while I should be devoting my energies to the duties I signed up for when I embarked upon marriage and parenthood. (NOT to sound bleak! At different times I have had to curtail my IM time-wasting or email time-wasting when I had a job, too. One can get carried away to excess in practically anything.) And furthermore, I don't care if my profile leads (even would-be friendly) strangers to a dead end when they try to discover my identity from some comment left on someone else's blog. The people who need to read my blog know how to find me. It's an interactive conversation for a tightly-knit group of friends, not an ego prop for a statistics junkie who agonises over the number of hits on his meter and the number of 'mentions' his blog elicits from other, famous-er blogs. (There are people who actually do this! I read a whole article on it last week in my blog perambulations...but no more.) (And, my friends, if any of you check a statistics meter, seriously, no offense! Of course it's normal to wonder if anyone's reading your creative genius. This article bordered on obsession, I swear.)
Back to the safety dilemma. Ultimately I have to remind myself that our lives are in God's hands. We can take the necessary precautions (and I'm still stuck over what precisely that means in this scenario) and must trust Him to carry out the heartening promise in II Timothy 1:7- For God hath not given us the spirit of fear; but of power, and of love, and of a sound mind. I SO need that power and sound mind!
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7 comments:
That's all a familiar tune in my head. I don't know how many times I've escaped from intruders in the dead of night, grabbing the phone, ripping the screens open, tossing the kids out into the flowerbed. Realizing there's no back exit in our house. That I can't get to both kids at the same time. That if something were to happen to me, they aren't old enough to find help on their own.
For a while, when Darren left town, I'd leave an upturned chair at the end of the hallway, figuring I'd hear someone tripping on it.
I really don't know how much fear is good and when it gets out of hand. I actually intend to talk with my pastor about this very subject soon. There's always a dark current of fear lurking under my comfortable life, and even "trusting in God's goodness" is scary because, after all, not every victim of violence is wicked. So I have very little to offer in the way of encouragement, but a great deal of empathy.
-- SJ
P.S. Leah delivered the story. I've been reading through my marginal notes and enjoying them far more than the story itself.
I'm glad I found you before you went into a more secretive mode. ;-)
Now, off to reset the booby traps.
Motherhood brings it on strong now. I have all kinds of terrible nightmares about losing MJR or Ben to some tragic event. I have wondered about posting pictures on the internet but MJR is very cautious and if he thinks it is ok, then it probably is. I do make an effort not to use our last name, address, etc.... The balance is being cautious but not living in fear. -rlr
I think this fear is a huge problem for women. I myself fall prey to the emotion, too. Esp. before we were married and I was living in the house all by myself. The "What ifs" were not sleep condusive.
But there is one book that I read once that talks about Phil 4:8. We are to think on what is t*true* and *real* and *now*. So whenever my thoughts start running wild and when my escape routes are becoming a bit more detailed than they should be..... I stop myself and ask, "What is now? Is anyone breaking in?" Of course, the answer is "no." Is anyone trying to murder me now? "No." What is true? "The house is quiet and it's midnight and I'm tired." So what is good? "To quit my imaginings and fall asleep." And God will give His angels watchcare over me. And I always wake up fine.
Nevertheless, I do agree with you that it is good to be cautious and we definitely need to be aware of our surroundings. But not so much that we become useless creatures, bound by our imaginations. As you said --- God has given us a Helper who is Powerful and able to conquer both fear and evil.
Interesting post, to be sure. I hemmed and hawed about these issues and other much more shallow ones before giving in to getting my own blog. I hope nothing "bad" happens to me because of it. I have friends that will only post pictures of themselves on their own site which you have to get a username/password to use. How that keeps them safe from me posting pictures of them on my site I'm not sure, but if it allays their fears, more power to them.
Carrie -- Thanks for that little mindcheck. It's been very helpful. It's been great to read everyone else's comments, too.
-- SJ
Wow! Quite the response. Thanks to all for your encouragement and feedback. It's nice to know I'm not so alone in my paranoia. =) Each comment merits an individual response, and indeed each one sparked a different train of thought that ran off in several directions and promptly demanded a post of its own, so we'll see if I can sort it all out in this coming week.
Oh, but I must say: And Janice enters the room and is off on a commenting spree! I had to laugh when I saw posts along the lines of 'JR Phillips was here' on all the blogs. It's great to hear from you!
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