Pregnancy brain and beyond

At least I've stopped feeling so scatter-brained and forgetful, but the post-partum hormones are in full swing, and now I remember all those teary nights and days after Jane came. It wasn't the sleepless nights (because there weren't so many of those) but just the facts of the matter: after having a baby, apparently I need to cry at least once a day or so.

The other day we came home from an event at church, where I had nursed Ella, then set her in her carseat (which is still light enough to carry her around in) and gone off to collect Jane. When we got home, I lifted the blanket to discover that I hadn't remembered to fasten her in before snapping the carseat into the base. Thoughts of what might have happened had we gotten into a wreck, and the realisation of how much I love this little person despite hardly even knowing her, produced an immediate display of waterworks. Likewise pretty much every movie we've watched in the past two weeks (which is a lot, since I had just signed up for a Blockbuster free trial before Ella came), even if it wasn't supposed to be a sad one.

On the upside, I am wearing jeans again, which is a huge boost to morale, never mind the fact that they aren't technically my pre-pregnancy jeans and were too big before. They fit perfectly now, which tricks me into feeling really good.

I still haven't printed photos from Jane's birth and onward (yes, that means we have thousands of digital pics stuck on our computer) aside from the random one I took to Walmart and printed to frame and give away as a gift. However, I responded to an offer for 40 free prints, and today received back the first ones of Ella. At the rate we are taking pictures of this child, I can probably keep up with printing all the photos of her for free, since my experience is that Snapfish and all the other competitors offer 25 free prints quite frequently (less shipping, of course). I am trying to be glad that I am printing photos at all, and not feel guilty that we still haven't printed off/started an album for Jane.

I am now one and a half weeks into parenting two children solo (meaning since Michael went back to work during the day) and it seems safe to announce that it's far easier than I thought. Jane is adjusting nicely, after a few days of clinginess, and aside from wanting to climb into my lap whenever it is otherwise occupied, seems to be happily independent.

When Jane naps, I put Ella down and try to sleep myself. Everything else that used to be my free time stuff is now worked around Jane. If Ella is awake, we play with her. If she is asleep, we set her within sight in the bouncy seat and do housework. I am pleasantly surprised to see how nicely the house runs; so far we aren't swamped with mountains of laundry or dishes and the floor looks pretty clean.

I think I must have held Jane pretty much all the time when she was a baby. I remember taking naps, but I also remember just sitting on the couch and looking at her as she slept, and of course I held her whenever she was awake too. I know this because we have a new saying around here, which must only come from setting the baby down now and then: 'Don't sit on the baby!' If one of us leaves the room to change Jane or something, and the other one has to go off and do something, we find that leaving a baby on the couch swaddled in blankets requires an alert, because our couches are already littered with blankets, boppies, and spit rags. Ella blends right in.