You know you're grown up when...

This morning some of the women in the office were passing around a forwarded email. There was much laughter and snickering, and when it came to me, I read a list of 'You know you're grown up when...' which included such examples as 'You go from "I'll never drink that much beer again" to "I just can't drink the way I used to,' 'All the plants in your house are actually alive - and they're non-smoking,' and 'You're awake at 5 a.m. because that's when you set your alarm, not because that's when you stagger into your room and pass out.' 'So true,' was a commonly repeated phrase as the email changed hands. Well, that put me in a bit of a dilemma. As I read it, I kept thinking, 'Well, none of these apply to me!' By this standard, I'm not a grown-up, and not because I'm still doing the stuff on the list, either. (Kind of a 'Have you stopped beating your wife yet?' paradox.) But I sensed keenly my inability to express any of this without sounding snobby or aloof. In the end, when I handed it off and the laughing recipient asked, 'Isn't that too funny?' I merely smiled. It reminded me of the desperate need for discernment between when to speak up and when to keep silence. Ten years ago, my courageous stand-alone self would have been more than happy to spout off virtuous sentiments espousing shock and horror at the sad state of the rest of the world while enjoying the solitary status of lonely martyrdom. Later I might have questioned whether I should speak up, simply from the personal testimony angle, so as to encourage and uplift others and provide an alternate perspective to those who might be wavering. I'm all for leadership and courage and inspiring others by example. But I realised, nothing is really at stake here, and there is nothing to be gained by making other people feel bad at my expense. So I smiled and held my tongue. And thought, You know you're grown up when you know when to shut up.