There's some discussion afoot (http://www.carrotduchy.blogspot.com/ - I can't figure out how to link directly to the specific post, so depending on the Queen's verbosity you may need to dig a bit) about the advisability of writing up Our Story for the edification of one's friends and the general populace. This is a delicate proposition, because in theory the tale of How We Met should always be a good story, like all brides are beautiful and all babies are adorable. A Romance should always make a good story. But in actual fact, the dangers flanking such a telling are many and dire indeed. First, there's the matter of sappiness. Now, sappiness per se isn't bad, provided it's done right and comes off sweet and endearing rather than smug or saccharine. Sappiness done wrong (overdone or otherwise) is pretty harmless in its own right because it can be a lot of fun to parody. The trouble is that it's already an overdone genre due to the spate of courtship testimonials hitting the radar beginning in the mid- to late-nineties, when the first generation of homeschoolers grew up, fell in love, and got married (or perhaps we should reverse those last two steps). The trouble with the majority of these is not their sappiness content but their sincerity factor, which makes it impossible to parody in good fun. You can't really make fun of these people's evident desire to share God's blessing in their lives. So you just cringe at their judgment in baring every last detail and swear, 'When my time comes, I will never go off the deep end like that!' And when your time comes, it is the most exciting thing in the world and sure enough does make a great story. So the dilemma is how to canvass it abroad without sounding smug ('Here's how it worked for us. Now we're the happiest people in the world and you're not.') or boring ('He's the most wonderful person in the world and I'm so lucky and we're both so happy and isn't life just wonderful...*happy sigh*') or pious ('But it was evident that God was at work behind the scenes, despite the anxiety occasioned by Prince Character not calling my father within 24 hours of my praying for a husband, which was the fleece I had asked for....') This, I suppose, is the essential question before us now. How does one navigate these difficulties? What criteria should be the Reasonable and Rational Person's Guide to Relating Tales of Romance in the First Person?
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4 comments:
"when the first generation of homeschoolers grew up, fell in love, and got married (or perhaps we should reverse those last two steps)"
Actually, judging from some of the stories I've read, I would put the first step at the last.
Here's my $.02 on the matter. First, the account must be well-written. No long passages of purple prose. Sentence fragments are okay; long expository discussion of exactly _which_ Scripture convinced you that he/she was the one for you are verboten.
Secondly, emotional descriptions are great - in moderation. One of the major problems I've had with some of the homeschool testimonies is their tendency to think that eros is bad. It isn't. It is created by God. Some of them seem to think that if you are attracted to a person, that may be a _negative_ pointer, and certainly falling in love is not as important as finding the correct Scripture verse to apply.
Third, I tend to think that descriptions are good. In fact, Sara laughs at my (admittedly meager) attempts at journaling when younger - they are completely fact-oriented. But that's what I like. I want to know what you did, where you went on your first date, where and when he proposed and what he said, and most definitely what the engagement ring looks like.
So those are my ideas. Of course, my ideal of how it should be is http://www.crosswalk.com/family/marriage/1127984.html. Funny thing. I married the writer I like best. Good management, if I do say so myself. --DJ
You can get a direct link by clicking on the little time stamp at the bottom of a post. However, that doesn't let you see the one set of comments--you can only see that from the main page. Bother. I haven't figured out a good comments system yet, so instead I have two bad ones.
I'm starting to feel more inspired now. Maybe I'll help DOB write a more detailed, if not more sappy, version.
Telling Our Story, no matter how fascinating to Us, should be limited to those who want to hear it. Innocent bystanders and persons not connected with the principles should not be conscripted into hearing every little last detail. Personal websites, unless you're really famous, should contain the short and straightforward version.
Well, partly so, Anonymous... but I like hearing The Story, even about random people I don't know, if it's not overdone. For those who are uninterested in anyone else's Story, I guess stick to politics. -- SJ
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